Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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