new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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