He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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