Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
