is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Randomize
