So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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