I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
