I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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