careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
