You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
