But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
