She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
