we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
