Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
