2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i came on her dog
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
