lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
