Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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