Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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