Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
