He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
