I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
