a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize