Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Michael Bay diarrhea
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize