Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
if only i could text you this smell
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
