So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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