Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
