Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
