talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize