White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
