fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
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