she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
