It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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