a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
