why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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