White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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