Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
