the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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