I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
