Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
