I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
