Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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