I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
