I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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