writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
