I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
