i always forget guys have bellybuttons
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
