I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
