help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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