It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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