If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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