And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
