im holly from the hills drunk
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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