I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
