you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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