i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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