i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
