I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
