my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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