i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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