he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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