oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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