i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
